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Who the heck are the reporters behind Pembrokeshire Cachu News?

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WE’RE reading it, we’re laughing over it and there’s no denying that the people of Pembrokeshire have grown to love it. 

But who the heck are Barri Bryth, Ceredig Pysgod-Jones and his co-editor in chief, Gito Goch? In other words, the team responsible for  Pembrokeshire Cachu News? 

This week the Pembrokeshire Herald tracked them down to a pub in Pembroke town centre. 

Gito, like all true journos, was knocking back the vino sacramento, and Ceredig was sticking to shandy because of a hangover from the previous day’s funeral. 

The landlord ushered the GPT (the gutter press trio), to an upper room, well away from his other customers.  No surprises there, then. 

Barri Bryth, conspicuous by his absence

“I’ve always wondered what was up here,” said Gito. 

 And so began two hours of ceaseless comedy as they launched from one story to the next with that dynamic spark that typifies Pembrokeshire Cachu News. 

As they talked, they played with Lego and drew on brown paper bags with their crayons.  I kid you not. 

“Here you are,” says Gito, shoving a packet of biscuits across the table. 

“ Here’s a packet of Hobnobs from Barri Bryth.  Why does he eat hobnobs?  Because he’s a nob, that’s why. 

“God knows where he’s got to this afternoon.  In fact we often wonder whether he really exists, but he exists in our head. 

“Our ultimate goal is to bring Barri to life and turn him into a black and white ‘film noir’ played by Rhod Gilbert and that man who goes on about Welshness…What’s his name? 

“Michael Sheen. That’ the one. He’ll play Gito Goch. 

“Barri, see, is your typical reporter in his corduroy trousers, collarless shirt, an ill-fitting tweed jacket, coke-bottle glasses and suspenders.” 

Ceredig Pysgod-Jones takes a measured slurp of his shandy. 

“I think you mean braces, Gito.  Barri doesn’t wear suspenders.”  

“Ah yes, braces.  And Barri just wanders around the place saying ‘I don’t f****** know who I am’.  That’s Barri.” 

Brith, Psygod-Jones and Gito Goch were born during the Covid lockdown of 2020. 

“It was all because of Nick in the sandwich shop in Pembroke Dock.  She started telling us about the council watch page and so we started reading it and realised just how daft most of the stuff on it was.  

“Remember that bloke who was complaining to the council that the grass was never being cut?  And then when it was cut, he started complaining all over again, that it had gone all over his car? 

“So during lockdown, Ceredig and I started writing our own stories for our own amusement and we launched Pembrokeshire Cachu News.” 

They initially set their sights on attracting a couple of hundred followers but, following their Cleddau Bridge story, they realised that things were starting to turn. 

“We said the Cleddau Bridge was going to close for six months because ‘Newky and  Brown’ were going to repair one of the main pillars with a new formula super concrete called ‘Uber Beton’,” says Gito. 

“I wrote that story in seven minutes.  Within ten minutes I could see it being shared 50, 60, 70, 80 times. 

“And this was only a few weeks after we launched Pembrokeshire Cachu News, so we knew that that story was our catalyst.  Overnight we’d gained 500 followers.” 

Today, their figure stands at well over 8,000. 

“We never imagined this happening as even today, me and Gito are just doing it for our own amusement and for our own mental sanity,” says Ceredig. 

“But we try and latch onto local history, and that seems to wind people up quite a bit which helps the figures.  

“We’ve really got it in for Whitland because the people of Whitland complain about everything.  And then we try and cause rivalry between the Tenby Sharks and the Penally Crows and as for the Mount Estate….you’ve only got to mention it and there’s hell to pay.” 

Mr Chizzit from Birmingham is another PCN character who’s good at raising hackles. 

“During the covid lockdown we ran a story saying that Mr Chizzit had driven his Volvo down from Birmingham to Tenby and my God, did it make people angry.  We were laughing all the way to the bank with that one, but it made us realise that that’s what we had to do.  Make people angry. 

“And so Mr Chizzit travelled from Birmingham to Tenby again last year and said he wanted the Gosker Rock to be bulldozed down as it was spoiling his view. 

“And the fantastic thing is that people actually believe this stuff. 

“The one that really got people angry was in the summer of 2021 when we said that the refugees had escaped from the Penally Camp and were squatting in the abandoned Imperial Hotel in Tenby and were going to turn it into a Welsh kebab restaurant.  People were writing in and saying they were never going to go to Tenby again. 

“Only once we’ve had a pull a story, and that was when we said that the airfield in Carew was going to house 8,000 refugees from Penally Camp.  We didn’t know that the airfield was owned by a private company so naturally they weren’t too happy when they read this.” 

Gito admits to being the PCN editor who tends to throw caution to the wind and tell it just like it is, while Ceredig is more restrained, extremely dry and exceptionally cutting. 

“But our intention is never to hurt or belittle people,” says Ceredig.  “Except our friends, of course. 

“We’re doing it just to amuse ourselves and hopefully to bring a smile to the people of Pembrokeshire.  And one of the best things is when we see one of our rival newspapers asking people what’s the best thing about Pembrokeshire. And more and more people are saying it’s ‘Pembrokeshire Cachu News’.” 

The way things are looking, this trend is set to continue for a very long time indeed. 

 

Crime

Police probe ball bearing damage in Haverfordwest

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POLICE are investigating reports of criminal damage in Haverfordwest after suspected metal ball bearings were used to damage a vehicle and a property.

Dyfed-Powys Police said damage was caused to the wing mirror of a blue Range Rover Evoque on Glenfields Road sometime between 11:10am and 11:20am on Sunday, May 10.

Officers believe metal ball bearings may have been used.

A second incident was reported at around 2:30pm on Tuesday, May 12, when the window of a property on Glenfields Road was allegedly struck by a suspected metal ball bearing.

Police said local officers are continuing to speak with residents after receiving a number of calls about ball bearings being found in the Glenfields Road and Old Hakin Road areas.

Anyone who witnessed anything, or who has information that could help the investigation, is asked to contact Dyfed-Powys Police online, by emailing [email protected], or by calling 101.

Information can also be given anonymously to Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111 or via crimestoppers-uk.org.

Quote reference: 26*375605.

 

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Crime

Stolen vehicle investigation after late-night crash in Waterston

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A VEHICLE involved in a late-night single-vehicle crash in Waterston, Milford Haven, is believed to have been stolen, police have confirmed.

Dyfed-Powys Police said officers received a report of the collision at around 11:55pm on Sunday (May 17).

The vehicle was recovered at approximately 1:15am on Monday (May 18), but nobody was found at the scene.

Following enquiries, police established that the vehicle had reportedly been stolen at some point during Sunday evening.

Officers said enquiries into the incident are ongoing.

 

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News

Labour names Senedd spokesperson team after election defeat

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Ken Skates says group will focus on holding new Welsh Government to account

INTERIM Welsh Labour leader Ken Skates has unveiled the party’s Senedd spokesperson team following its defeat in the recent election.

Mr Skates will act as interim leader of Welsh Labour and spokesperson for health, care and national security.

He said the Labour group would draw on “extensive experience” while bringing “fresh energy and ideas” to its work in opposition.

The party said its Senedd group was committed to holding the new Welsh Government to account and pushing for practical results for the people of Wales.

Jayne Bryant MS has been appointed spokesperson for housing, communities, public and preventative health, with women’s health also included in her brief.

Mike Hedges MS will cover culture, sport, local government and legislation.

Vikki Howells MS becomes Chief Whip and spokesperson for environment, farming, energy and transport. Her portfolio also includes planning.

Lynne Neagle MS has been named Business Manager and spokesperson for children, education and lifelong learning.

Shav Taj MS will cover employment, equalities and economic transformation, including social partnership.

Huw Thomas MS has been appointed spokesperson for finance, democracy, citizenship and the Welsh language. Regional and city deals will also fall within his brief.

Welsh Labour said Sarah Murphy’s portfolio will be announced when she returns from maternity leave.

A photo call with the Welsh Labour Senedd Group is due to take place in Cardiff Bay on Tuesday (May 19), although no interviews will be available.

 

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