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‘We weren’t wild. We were unprotected’: A generation groomed and forgotten
Trigger warning: This article contains graphic references to child sexual abuse, grooming, and trauma.
WE were the first kids online. Dial-up tones. MSN Messenger. Webcams balanced on bulky monitors. No rules. No warnings. No one watching.
And the predators? They found us before our parents even knew what a USB was.
It started in the chatrooms. Kids Chat. AOL. Yahoo. We’d log in at nine, say we were fourteen, and within minutes we were being asked:
“What are you wearing?”
“You’re cute.”
“Show me.”
They showed themselves too. Full-grown men — not eighteen, not twenty-one — men in their thirties, forties, sixties. They told us we were special. Mature. Beautiful. And we believed them — because nobody told us not to.
It became normal
It didn’t feel like grooming. It felt like attention. Excitement. Thrill. Fear. Shame. All tangled together in a way that still knots up in my chest to this day.
We started meeting them. Men with cars. Men with drinks. We lied about our ages, because that’s what girls did. We said we were sixteen when we were thirteen.
But the truth? We looked ten. And they knew it.
We thought we loved it. That’s what they made us believe. That wasn’t informed consent — that was childhood confusion weaponised.
It became so normal it was daily. The damage was done before we even knew we were bleeding.
He could’ve killed me
He was “Ben” (Not his real name).
He was much older Asian man. We’d seen him once, walking home. He offered a lift. There were a few of us, so we got in. Young. Naïve. Stupid. But kids.
The next time, I went alone.
He picked me up. Drove me to a secluded spot — dark, empty, silent. My gut screamed. Everything in me said run. But I was trapped in his car.
He leaned in. Tried to kiss me. Grabbed at me. Pressured me. His hands. His breath. His force.
I froze. So I lied.
Pretended my sister was calling. Faked a conversation. Loudly said where I was — just in case. He hesitated. Maybe it scared him. Maybe it didn’t. But he drove me home.
The moment we hit my estate, I opened that door before the car even stopped and ran like hell.
Because I truly believed — if I hadn’t — he’d have raped me. Or worse.
Twenty men. Two girls. No way out
J said she knew them.
“They’re alright,” she said. “It’s fine.”
They were foreign men. They picked us up — two teenage girls — and took us to a house.
When we walked in?
More than twenty men. All older. All staring.
Something was wrong. The air was heavy. We were offered drinks. I told J not to take it. She did anyway.
Then we were on the move again — to another house, just the two original men now. We followed, confused. Upstairs. Into a bedroom.
It became clear, fast.
This wasn’t a hangout. This was a setup.
I grabbed J’s arm and said, “We’re going.”
We ran. Pushed past the men. Jumped over them on the stairs. Flew out the door and didn’t stop.
We called two older guys we knew — the only people we could think of.
They picked us up. Got us out of there.
It was over. But it never really was.
Because we were just kids. And it had become normal to be in danger.
They said we were naughty girls
I once tried to speak out. I’d had enough. I cracked. I told someone. And they didn’t believe me. Worse — they blamed me.
I was unstable. Dramatic.
“You loved the attention.”
“It’s your fault.”
“You were asking for it.”
Even now, when I talk to girls I grew up with, they ask:
“Was it really grooming?”
“We were naughty, weren’t we?”
“Did that really happen to us?”
Yes. Yes, it did.
That is the sound of an entire generation gaslit by silence.
We were groomed — online and offline — while every adult in the system looked away.
What the system never saw — because it wasn’t looking
There were no safeguarding policies for what we lived through. No assemblies warning us about “online predators.” No teachers trained in grooming recognition. No systems prepared for what the internet was unleashing.
We were the first generation to be groomed through a screen. And the institutions that were meant to protect us? They were still warning us about strangers with sweets in vans.
While we were being exploited by men in our inboxes, schools were still showing us cartoon leaflets about “saying no to drugs.” Police didn’t know what screenshots were. Social workers weren’t trained in digital abuse. And the law? It barely existed.
The internet was a playground — but predators were the only ones who read the rules.
The internet grew — but protection didn’t
By the time adults caught up, the damage was done. We weren’t seen as victims — we were labelled problems.
Disruptive. Promiscuous. Attention-seeking.
Our trauma was punished. Not supported. Not believed. Not understood.
They didn’t ask why we were spiralling. They gave us detentions, suspensions, isolation rooms. They moved us from school to school. They called our parents in. But they never called out the men messaging us at midnight.
We were never asked the right questions
Nobody said:
“Are you okay?”
“Do you feel safe online?”
“Has anyone ever made you uncomfortable in a chatroom?”
We were never taught that being manipulated by a 35-year-old man wasn’t our fault. Instead, we were told to be careful — like we were the problem.
And we internalised that.
For years, we thought we were “naughty.” We laughed it off. We carried the shame. We blamed ourselves — and each other.
But we weren’t being difficult. We were being groomed. And nobody. Ever. Asked.
The legacy we still carry
It didn’t end when the messages stopped. Or when the house door shut. Or when the man drove away.
It stayed with us.
In our nervous systems. In our relationships. In our sense of safety. In the way we second-guess ourselves, even now.
We survived the grooming. But nobody prepared us for the aftermath.
We grew up — but the damage grew with us
The world taught us that what happened to us wasn’t that serious. So we learned to swallow it.
We carried trauma into our teens. Into sex. Into adulthood. Into breakdowns and addiction. Into trust issues and triggered silences. Into: “Why can’t I just get over it?”
And still — it’s rare anyone names it for what it was.
Because we didn’t get groomed today, with safeguarding policies and public outrage. We got groomed back then — in the wild west of the internet, when people thought it was just “girls being flirty.”
No one saw us as victims. So we didn’t know we were.
Even now, we doubt ourselves
That’s the legacy. Not just trauma — but doubt.
We still hear the voices in our heads:
“Was it really that bad?”
“We went along with it, didn’t we?”
“We lied about our age though…”
We repeat the lies we were fed. We laugh when we talk about it, because we don’t know what else to do. We swap horror stories like they’re throwaway memories.
But deep down? We know we weren’t wild. We were unprotected.
And that’s what hurts the most — that we’ve had to live this long wondering if we did this to ourselves.
We didn’t.
This never stopped — it just got easier
Predators didn’t disappear when the dial-up tone died. They evolved — just like the tech did.
Now they don’t need to lurk in AOL chatrooms. They’re on Snapchat. TikTok. Discord. Instagram. Fake names. Disappearing messages. Private servers.
They don’t have to ask for your number. They can reach a 12-year-old from a stranger’s story share or a mutual follow.
They don’t have to drive around looking for vulnerable girls. They scroll for them. They search hashtags like “lonely.” They read comments under selfies.
And the difference now? It’s faster. It’s smarter. It’s constant.
And still — the system hasn’t caught up.
They still count on silence
Grooming follows the same steps it always did:
- Spot the vulnerability
- Build trust
- Create shame
- Exploit silence
- Count on institutions to do nothing
Because that’s what still happens today.
A child discloses abuse? They’re asked what they were wearing. How many people they’d slept with. Whether they were “mature for their age.”
The same grooming culture we lived through — is still being handled with the same doubt, denial, and delay.
The system learns nothing
We’ve had inquiries. We’ve had safeguarding scandals. We’ve had high-profile convictions and public horror.
And yet:
- Police still dismiss “difficult” victims
- Schools still prioritise reputation over protection
- The CPS still drops cases citing “credibility”
- Children are still moved while abusers stay put
We’re still here. Screaming the same things we tried to say twenty years ago — and still being told we’re “complicating things.”
We’re done being quiet — and we’re not asking anymore
We’re not confused anymore. We’re not wondering if it “counts.” We’re not searching for the right words to make it palatable.
We know what it was. It was grooming. Abuse. Neglect. Silence. And it wasn’t our fault.
You don’t get to blame children for being vulnerable. You don’t get to excuse grown men who target trauma. And you definitely don’t get to call it a “failure” when the system was built to look the other way.
This is our reckoning
We’re not asking for awareness. We’re done trying to make this easy to hear. We’re not tiptoeing around reputation or waiting for permission.
We are naming names. We are connecting patterns. We are exposing the blueprint.
This is not a call for more safeguarding leaflets or carefully worded apologies. This is a demand:
Acknowledge us. Protect the next generation. And stop pretending this wasn’t by design.
by Sophie Lewis
Author’s Note:
These events are real and happened in South Wales. If this feels familiar — you’re not alone. Your story matters. Even if you’ve never spoken it out loud. Especially if no one ever believed you.
It was real. It happened. And it wasn’t your fault.
If you’ve been affected by the issues in this article
Help and support are available. You are not alone.
Support services in Wales:
- The Survivors Trust – Offers confidential support for survivors of sexual violence
08088 010 818
www.thesurvivorstrust.org - Rape Crisis England & Wales – Freephone national helpline 0808 500 2222 (12:00pm–2:30pm, 7:00pm–9:30pm every day) www.rapecrisis.org.uk
- NSPCC (for children and young people) 0800 1111 (Childline – free and confidential) www.childline.org.uk
- Live Fear Free (Wales) – Support for anyone affected by domestic abuse, sexual violence or violence against women 0808 80 10 800 (24/7 helpline) www.livefearfree.gov.wales
- BAWSO – Specialist support for Black and minority ethnic communities in Wales 0800 731 8147 www.bawso.org.uk
A recent Rightmove House Price Index suggests only modest movements in the UK housing market through spring 2024.
This is a time of year when prices typically soar, so this might lead many to consider revamping their current home for a touch of luxury rather than embarking on a stressful move.
After all, your existing space holds memories and character. But how can you elevate it to feel truly high-end? Let’s look at ways to transform your home into a luxurious haven.
Smart Home Integration
Luxury goes beyond aesthetics; it’s about creating a home that anticipates your needs. Smart home technology is no longer a vision of the future – it’s now easily accessible. Integrate voice-controlled lighting, automated blinds, and a zoned heating system controlled by your phone. Imagine walking into a perfectly lit room with the ideal temperature already set – that’s the epitome of effortless luxury.
Sophisticated Lighting
Lighting is essential for creating the ambiance of a space. Move away from harsh overhead lights and embrace a multi-layered approach. Think dimmable spotlights for task lighting, strategically placed sconces for a warm glow, and LED strips to create a touch of drama along walkways. Consider incorporating smart lighting systems that allow you to adjust colour temperature and intensity based on the time of day or desired atmosphere.
Enhance Your Hallway
First impressions matter, and your hallway sets the tone for the rest of your home. Don’t let it be a neglected space. Invest in a statement piece of art, a luxurious rug, or a stylish console table. Utilise the often overlooked understairs space. Here, bespoke joinery can create hidden storage solutions for coats, shoes, or even a mini home office.
Luxury Outdoor Spaces
With the rise of “staycations,” gardens and patios are no longer afterthoughts. Blur the lines between indoor and outdoor living by creating a luxurious extension of your home. Invest in comfortable outdoor furniture, weatherproof cushions, and stylish fire pits for cooler evenings. String fairy lights or install statement pendant lamps for a touch of magic after dark.
Customised Home Libraries
A well-designed home library isn’t just for bibliophiles; it’s a sophisticated and inviting space for relaxation and contemplation. Built-in bookshelves that maximise wall space are ideal. Consider incorporating a comfortable reading nook with plush armchairs and a statement lamp. For a truly unique touch, explore custom-built options that can accommodate your specific needs and showcase your treasured book collection.
Sustainable Design Adds Luxury
Luxury can be achieved without compromising the environment. Look for furniture and materials made from recycled or sustainable sources. Invest in energy-efficient smart home technology and consider installing skylights to take advantage of natural light.
By integrating these exclusive trends, you can turn your home into a space that showcases your unique style and personality. Remember, luxury is about creating something that feels effortlessly comfortable and perfectly suited to your lifestyle.
In the 21st century, where digital innovations have transformed everything from entertainment to business operations, it’s no surprise that the currency landscape is evolving. China’s groundbreaking stride towards digitizing its currency has thrown the global financial community into a whirl of contemplation. How significant is this move? Let’s unwrap the enigma of the Digital Yuan.
Background: The Rise of the Digital Yuan
It’s not just another digital currency; it’s a state-backed endeavor. The Chinese government, recognizing the advent of digital transaction methods, started research into the Digital Yuan, or e-CNY, as early as 2014. Launched under the People’s Bank of China (PBOC), the e-CNY came to life as a part of pilot projects in various cities by 2020. So, if you are into DIgital Yuan investment, you may consider knowing about China’s Official Digital Currency Token.
China’s motivation? The primary aim was to modernize the payment system, safeguard monetary sovereignty, and to potentially internationalize the yuan in the face of rising cryptocurrencies, which could challenge state-backed currencies.
The Vision: Opportunities & Potential Advantages
- Monetary Policy & Efficiency: Unlike conventional paper currency, digital currency offers unprecedented control over the monetary system. It ensures streamlined transactions and better oversight on the financial landscape.
- Reduction in Global Dollar Dependency: The e-CNY could pivot China (and its trading partners) slightly away from the US dollar-centric global trade system.
- Financial Inclusion: Millions in China lack access to traditional banking. The e-CNY could offer an inclusive financial system where every citizen, regardless of their social status, could access banking services.
- Cross-border Transactions: Imagine a streamlined international transaction without multiple intermediaries. The Digital Yuan could be a step in that direction.
Illusory Mirage: Challenges & Limitations
- Technical Challenges: Scalability is a paramount concern. Can the system handle millions of simultaneous transactions? Furthermore, how will it ensure security and maintain interoperability with other digital systems?
- Surveillance Concerns: With digital comes the power to oversee. But to what extent? Concerns have risen about the potential erosion of individual financial privacy.
- International Trustworthiness: For the Digital Yuan to truly become international, it needs global trust. Can China convince other nations of its currency’s stability and security?
E-Currency vs Cryptocurrencies: A Clarifying Distinction
The Digital Yuan (e-CNY) and cryptocurrencies such as Bitcoin present two markedly different visions of digital money. The e-CNY is centralized, governed by the People’s Bank of China (PBOC), while cryptocurrencies function in a decentralized manner, lacking a singular regulatory body. This centralization in the e-CNY translates to state-backed trust, as opposed to the cryptographic proofs that underpin cryptocurrencies. Technologically, while the e-CNY has some foundation in blockchain, most cryptocurrencies are inherently blockchain-based. The Digital Yuan offers conditional anonymity with the state retaining the ability to access transaction data, contrasting with the typically higher anonymity levels in many cryptocurrencies. Furthermore, the Digital Yuan is designed for rapid transactions, whereas transaction speeds in cryptocurrencies can vary based on several factors, including network design and congestion.
Geopolitical Implications: A New Front in the Digital Cold War?
With the Digital Yuan’s rise, China seeks to challenge the global hegemony of the US dollar. This is not merely an economic shift; it’s geopolitical. If the e-CNY gets incorporated into China’s Belt and Road Initiative, countries involved could be coaxed (or choose) to adopt the Digital Yuan over the US dollar, leading to tectonic shifts in global power dynamics.
However, Western nations might see the e-CNY as a tool for surveillance, making them hesitant adopters.
The Future Landscape: Predictions & Speculations
- Global Financial System: If widely adopted, the Digital Yuan could shape the framework of global trade and finance, pushing for other countries to launch their own digital currencies.
- Adoption Scenarios: Countries with close trade ties to China or those involved in the Belt and Road Initiative might lean towards early adoption. However, nations skeptical of China’s geopolitical intent might resist.
- Fintech Industry: A surge in demand for fintech solutions and infrastructure could emerge, pushing innovation and development in the financial technology sector.
Conclusion
The Digital Yuan, China’s official digital currency, heralds a potential era of seamless transactions and greater regulatory oversight. Yet, like all innovations, it faces an array of challenges ranging from technological to geopolitical. Platforms have emerged, providing a space for digital Yuan trading, indicating the currency’s increasing integration into the broader cryptocurrency market. However, the trajectory of the Digital Yuan, also known as e-CNY, is not solely in the hands of technological adaptability. It’s intertwined with global politics, economic alliances, and evolving financial strategies. While the e-CNY holds the potential to redefine monetary systems, it remains to be seen if it will firmly establish itself as a staple in the digital economy or become a fleeting experiment.
Amidst the ever-evolving landscape of cryptocurrencies, Bitcoin, stands out as a pioneering and widely recognized digital currency. The rapid advancements in cryptocurrency technology have paved the way for innovative solutions aimed at tackling the challenges and limitations that emerge. Among these solutions, the concept of Bitcoin sidechains has gained substantial traction. These side chains introduce a unique avenue for exploring previously uncharted territories in terms of harnessing the practical potential of Bitcoin. This in-depth article takes a comprehensive plunge into the captivating realm of Bitcoin sidechains, delving into their intrinsic significance, intricate mechanisms, and the potential ripple effects they could impart on the expansive cryptocurrency ecosystem. If you are planning to invest in Bitcoin, you may consider investing in a reliable trading platform like https://matrixator.io/.
Understanding Sidechains: A Brief Overview
A sidechain, in the context of blockchain technology, refers to a separate and independent blockchain that operates in conjunction with the main blockchain, in this case, the Bitcoin blockchain. The primary purpose of a sidechain is to enable the execution of specific functions or applications that may not be directly compatible with the main chain’s protocol. By creating this parallel chain, developers can experiment, innovate, and implement new features without jeopardizing the security and stability of the main Bitcoin network.
The Mechanics of Bitcoin Sidechains
Bitcoin sidechains function based on a sophisticated mechanism referred to as “two-way pegging.” This intricate process orchestrates the seamless transfer of Bitcoins between the primary blockchain and the sidechain, a reciprocal movement that hinges on maintaining the integrity and safety of transactions across both domains. This intricate cryptographic procedure guarantees the fidelity of these transfers. It is worth highlighting that sidechains possess the flexibility to possess their own distinctive attributes, consensus protocols, and applications, which can significantly differ from those inherent to the main Bitcoin blockchain.
Leveraging Practical Value Through Bitcoin Sidechains
Enhanced Scalability and Throughput
One of the primary challenges faced by the Bitcoin network is its limited scalability and throughput. As the user base continues to expand, the transaction processing capacity of the main chain becomes strained. Bitcoin sidechains offer a potential solution to this issue by offloading a portion of the transaction volume onto separate chains. This alleviates congestion on the main network and enhances overall scalability.
Smart Contracts and Decentralized Finance (DeFi)
While the Bitcoin blockchain is renowned for its robust security and decentralized nature, it lacks the native capability to execute complex smart contracts. However, sidechains can be specifically designed to support smart contracts and facilitate decentralized finance (DeFi) applications. By leveraging Bitcoin’s value and security while enabling advanced programmability, sidechains unlock new avenues for innovation in the realm of decentralized applications.
Interoperability and Cross-Chain Assets
Bitcoin sidechains introduce a level of interoperability between different blockchain networks. This cross-chain functionality allows for the seamless transfer of assets between Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies. Through atomic swaps and other innovative mechanisms, users can enjoy the benefits of Bitcoin’s liquidity while engaging with diverse blockchain ecosystems.
Privacy and Confidentiality
Another intriguing aspect of Bitcoin sidechains is their potential to enhance user privacy and transactional confidentiality. Sidechains can implement advanced privacy features, such as zero-knowledge proofs, ring signatures, and confidential transactions. These techniques enable users to transact with a heightened level of anonymity, a feature not inherent in the original Bitcoin protocol.
The Future Landscape of Bitcoin Sidechains
As the cryptocurrency space continues to evolve, the role of Bitcoin sidechains is poised to become increasingly significant. These auxiliary chains offer a versatile platform for experimentation, innovation, and the development of specialized use cases. From enhancing scalability to enabling sophisticated DeFi applications and preserving user privacy, Bitcoin sidechains demonstrate the potential to transform the way we perceive and utilize cryptocurrencies.
Conclusion
Bitcoin sidechains function based on a sophisticated mechanism referred to as “two-way pegging.” This intricate process orchestrates the seamless transfer of Bitcoins between the primary blockchain and the sidechain, a reciprocal movement that hinges on maintaining the integrity and safety of transactions across both domains. This intricate cryptographic procedure guarantees the fidelity of these transfers. It is worth highlighting that sidechains possess the flexibility to possess their own distinctive attributes, consensus protocols, and applications, which can significantly differ from those inherent to the main Bitcoin blockchain.
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