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Crime

Mum’s effort to rebuild her and her children’s lives after leaving controlling partner

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  • Having courage to leave an abusive relationship can lead to a new life

A VICTIM of controlling and coercive behaviour has offered this advice to anyone living with domestic abuse as she works to rebuild her and her children’s lives.

She has bravely shared her experiences as part of Dyfed-Powys Police’s winter campaign, which aims to speak to people affected by domestic abuse, stalking and harassment, empowering them to report incidents, and offering means to find support.

For Sarah*, there were warning signs that something wasn’t right in her marriage. But like many others, she had been manipulated into believing her husband’s behaviour towards her was normal.

In reality, he was coercively controlling her. That means he was using threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse to harm, punish, or frighten her.

These are behaviours perpetrators use to isolate victims from support, deprive them of independence and control their everyday lives.
“What I’ve learned is that it doesn’t need to be extreme behaviour for it to have the effect it does,” Sarah said. “He never physically hurt me, but he is a very strong man, and I knew he could have.
“He controlled me, manipulated me, made me feel and look worthless in front of my children and family. I was gaslit and brainwashed, and living a deluded life.”

Sarah explained that one of her friends witnessed some behaviour that made her suspect it was abusive, and sent messages with links to places she could find support. This intervention prompted her to take action, and she fled the family home with her children
“My friend told me she thought it was domestic abuse and that it wouldn’t be long until I left him,” she said. “A few days later, we were out.
“I think I had known for some time, but I didn’t have the support of my family. If I did raise concerns I was told ‘oh it’s fine’ because they don’t see the emotional abuse. It’s partly because of the way I was brought up that I ended up with someone like him. I had to shut up and put up with it.
“But because somebody else validated it, it was like a light had been shone on the situation.”

After spending time in a women’s refuge, Sarah found a new home and is now rebuilding their lives.

However, as her ex-husband has contact with their children, she says she can never truly relax knowing he is still present in their lives.
“It’s hyper vigilance,” she said. “It’s emotionally and physically draining, and it’s not something you can sustain.
“It’s affected every area of my life. My finances, my housing, my emotional health, my children’s mental health, my work. Because of the brainwashing and the delusion, it’s taken me a long time to work out how to have safe relationships. Even with friends, it takes a long time to believe they truly want to spend time with me.

“You have to look for safe people – but you have to learn to trust yourself first. What he did to me was degrading and dehumanising. Looking back, I wonder how I could possibly have thought I could change him. The only person I could change was myself, and I’m doing that now.”

If any of Sarah’s story resonates with you, or you need to report domestic abuse, stalking or harassment, you can contact Dyfed-Powys Police in the following ways:
• Report online: https://bit.ly/DPPContactOnline
• Email: 101@dyfed-powys.pnn.police.uk
• Call: 101
• If you are deaf, hard of hearing, or speech impaired text the non-emergency number on 07811 311 908
In an emergency, always call 999.
*If you feel you need support in contacting police, there are organisations that can help you. Click here to find them, or search online for Live Fear Free or Women’s Aid – both have free helplines available.

Crime

Former police superintendent dismissed for gross misconduct

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Misogynistic behaviour spanned three years, hearing told

A FORMER senior officer has been dismissed from Dyfed-Powys Police following a gross misconduct hearing which found he had engaged in inappropriate and misogynistic behaviour towards female colleagues.

Gary Davies, who held the rank of Superintendent, had been suspended since July 2022 while an investigation was carried out into a series of allegations relating to his conduct between 2017 and 2020.

A Gross Misconduct Hearing was held at Dyfed-Powys Police Headquarters between 24 March and 4 April 2025. The hearing was chaired by Legally Qualified Chair, Mr Oliver Thorne.

The panel found that Davies had breached multiple standards of professional behaviour, including Authority, Respect and Courtesy, Discreditable Conduct, and Equality and Diversity. As a result, he has been dismissed from the force and placed on the College of Policing Barred List, which prevents him from returning to the police service.

Deputy Chief Constable Ifan Charles, who serves as the Appropriate Authority for complaints and misconduct within Dyfed-Powys Police, issued a formal statement following the outcome.

He said:
“Dyfed-Powys Police expects the highest standards of professional behaviour from its officers and staff, both on and off duty – and especially from those in senior leadership roles.
“I apologise to the former and current officers and staff who were subjected to inappropriate behaviour by former Superintendent Gary Davies, and I thank them for their courage in coming forward.
“Over the past two weeks, we have heard accounts from a number of colleagues, the majority of whom are women, who experienced unacceptable misogynistic conduct during the course of their duties.
“They are role models, and I commend the integrity and bravery they have shown throughout this process.
“This case is deeply concerning and will understandably cause unease within the organisation. I want to reassure all staff and the wider public that immediate action was taken when allegations were made, and the matter has been treated with the utmost seriousness.
“The outcome of today’s hearing reflects our commitment to maintaining the highest standards of conduct in policing. We will continue to use all available measures to ensure those unfit to hold the office of constable are removed swiftly and efficiently.”

Davies’s name was officially added to the Barred List on Friday (Apr 4), the day the hearing concluded.

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Crime

Haverfordwest resident denies assault on partner during birthday break

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A HAVERFORDWEST man has gone on trial accused of attacking his partner while on holiday in Pembrokeshire.

John Roberts, aged 51, of Barn Street, appeared at Swansea Crown Court charged with assault occasioning actual bodily harm and criminal damage.

The incident is alleged to have taken place on August 24 last year at a shepherd’s hut in Rosemarket, where the couple were staying to celebrate the complainant’s birthday.

Roberts is accused of grabbing his partner by the hair and banging her head against a wall, before damaging a fireplace inside the property. He denies both charges.

Opening the case, prosecutor Emily Bennett told the jury that Roberts and the complainant had been in a relationship for twelve years and were enjoying a holiday following a family barbecue.

She said that shortly after midnight, Roberts’ “mood changed,” and he allegedly launched the attack.

The jury heard that the complainant managed to escape, locked herself in the bathroom and called the police. When she later emerged, Roberts had left the property — taking one of their dogs and the keys with him — and she noticed the fireplace had been damaged.

Roberts was arrested later that day. In police interview, he denied assaulting the woman or causing any damage, claiming she had “started on him” after accusing him of being unfaithful.

The trial, before Judge Wayne Beard, continues.

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Crime

Fined for dropping cigarette at Milford Haven Tesco

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A LLANELLI man who dropped a cigarette outside Tesco in Milford Haven has been fined over £570 after failing to attend court.

Mark Evens, aged 42, of Llys Westfa, Llanelli, was found guilty in his absence at Haverfordwest Magistrates’ Court on Thursday (Apr 3).

The court heard that on September 3, 2024, Evens discarded a cigarette butt in a public place to which section 87 of the Environmental Protection Act 1990 applied.

He was fined £220 and ordered to pay a victim surcharge of £88 and prosecution costs of £266.66. A collection order was made, and the full balance of £574.66 must be paid by May 1.

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