Connect with us
Advertisement
Advertisement

Crime

Domestic abuse victims explains difficulty leaving abusive partner

Published

on

A WOMAN who suffered years of emotional control and physical assaults at the hands of her partner has opened up about the difficulty of leaving an abusive relationship.

While it can be easy for those on the outside to ask ‘why don’t you just leave’, there are often fears around housing, money, or the impact leaving might have on children. And as Jess explains, someone who has been abused might still have a form of connection with their abuser, or has been manipulated into thinking they have changed.

Jess has spoken out about three years of emotional and physical abuse as part of Dyfed-Powys Police’s winter campaign, which aims to empower those living with domestic abuse, stalking or harassment to report incidents and find support.

When Jess started a relationship with her ex-partner, she admits there were early – if subtle – signs of abusive behaviour, which stemmed from his jealousy. While friends picked up on these behaviours, Jess would be told by her partner that they were ‘interfering’.

“He always convinced me that he was just emotional due to the strength of his feelings for me and that he obviously didn’t mean the nastier things he said under the influence of alcohol,” she said.

“My friends tried to tell me the relationship could have been considered abusive, but I was deeply in denial.”

Over time, the abuse Jess faced escalated. She was called derogatory names, emotionally controlled, and was repeatedly accused of being unfaithful. If she spent time away from home, her partner wanted constant contact.

“Time spent with friends would always result in abuse when I went back home, so there were times when I decided that it wasn’t worth it,” she said.

“He would constantly question me on what I was doing and my feelings towards him, he went through my phone behind my back, read my diary and would use entries from the past against me.

“For some months, despite his emotionally abusive behaviour, I always believed he would never physically hurt me.”

The emotional abuse did lead to physical assaults, however, and Jess was subject to attacks and threats. Following one incident she took the brave step in calling Dyfed-Powys Police after fleeing with her phone.

“For once I had physical evidence in the form of a cut, so I thought I would be taken more seriously, rather than it being just his word against mine,” she said. “Until then I had always felt as though anything within my relationship was my own mess to sort out.”

Jess learned that she had been the victim of domestic abuse in the form of controlling and coercive behaviour for two years.

“I was surprised when the police said I’d described one of the more serious situations of domestic abuse they’d ever encountered, based on just how much I’d come to accept as normal,” she said.

“Up to this point I had felt embarrassed for involving the police and assumed they’d dismiss it because I didn’t have serious physical injuries.”

Jess’s abuser was arrested and charged with assault.

Despite this, she was manipulated into restarting their relationship a few short months later, with promises that he had changed. However, she suffered another year of abuse before calling it off once more.

While they are now separated, and Jess knows he poses a danger to her, she fears she might never be free from him.

“I feel massively emotionally affected and traumatised by our time together,” she said.

“He’s still contacting me on a daily basis trying to win me back. I’d rather have no contact with him at all, but he keeps talking me round to it. I respond to this because part of me has been conditioned to please him to avoid the abuse.

“Sometimes I fear I will never truly escape him – and that my remaining friends will abandon me to this fate.”

While Jess appreciates how difficult it is to speak out, she hopes that reading her story might be the push someone needs to seek help.

“I always liked to think of myself as a strong, intelligent, independent woman and never imagined I would find myself in this sort of situation, but it really can happen to anyone,” she said.

“It’s not your fault. The only person who should feel shame in an abusive relationship is the abuser.”

If any of Jess’s story resonates with you, or you need to report domestic abuse, stalking or harassment, you can contact Dyfed-Powys Police in the following ways:

Report online: https://bit.ly/DPPContactOnline
Email: [email protected]

Call: 101

If you are deaf, hard of hearing, or speech impaired text the non-emergency number on 07811 311 908
In an emergency, always call 999.

If you feel you need support in contacting police, there are organisations that can help you. Click here to find them, or search online for Live Fear Free, Women’s Aid or the National Stalking Helpline – all of which have free helplines available.

 

Crime

Racial abuse suspect barricaded himself inside Johnston lodge

Published

on

ARMED police were called to a supported accommodation building in Johnston after a man allegedly barricaded himself inside a room while behaving aggressively and racially abusing staff.

Dyfed-Powys Police confirmed officers were called to Silverdale Lodge at around 8:55am on Saturday (May 2) following reports of disorder involving a resident.

According to police, the man allegedly acted aggressively towards staff members and made racially abusive comments before barricading himself inside a room at the property.

The force said armed officers were deployed to ensure the safety of staff, other occupants and the man himself.

A spokesperson for Dyfed-Powys Police said: “Dyfed-Powys Police was called to Silverdale Lodge in Johnston at approximately 8.55am on May 2 following a report of a male behaving in an aggressive manner and being racially abusive towards a member of staff.

“Officers attended the scene and the male had barricaded himself in a room.

“In order to ensure the safety of the male, staff members and other occupants of the building, armed officers attended the scene.

“The man was detained and arrested. There were no injuries to members of staff or officers reported. There is currently no ongoing threat to the public.”

Police confirmed Billy Pitman, aged 29, has been charged with racially aggravated public order offences, criminal damage and threats to cause criminal damage in connection with the incident.

Pitman was remanded into custody and appeared before Swansea Magistrates’ Court on Monday (May 4).

We will bring you the court result as we receive it.

 

Continue Reading

Crime

Milford Haven woman denies causing suffering to cat

Published

on

Jury hears evidence over alleged failure to seek treatment for tumour

A MILFORD HAVEN woman has denied causing unnecessary suffering to her cat by allegedly failing to seek treatment for a cancerous tumour.

Maria Jane Hicks, 61, of Willow End, appeared before Swansea Crown Court accused of causing unnecessary suffering to a protected animal, namely a cat called Max.

The prosecution alleges that between May 6 and May 17, 2023, Hicks failed to obtain veterinary treatment for a tumour on the cat’s nose, resulting in unnecessary suffering.

Hicks previously appeared before Haverfordwest Magistrates’ Court, where she entered a not guilty plea and elected for trial at Crown Court. She repeated her plea when the case came before Swansea Crown Court.

The trial was heard on Tuesday (May 6).

During proceedings, Hicks was asked to retake the oath after the judge said it had not been given correctly the first time, reminding her to state “the whole truth and nothing but the absolute truth.”

The jury heard evidence from Ellie West, an animal rescue officer, who told the court she attended a welfare check after Max had been staying with one of Hicks’ neighbours, Mrs Jarvis.

West said the cat had dried blood around his nose and alleged Hicks had advised Mrs Jarvis to apply a homemade mixture containing frankincense, turmeric, coconut oil and myrrh.

Veterinary surgeon Jonathan Fitzmorris told the court Max had a body condition score of two out of nine and was approximately 10 per cent underweight. He said the cat was also suffering from severe dental disease, fleas, weeping eyes and an ulcerating wound to the nose.

Asked why he prescribed pain relief, Mr Fitzmorris said ulcerating wounds would be “extremely painful” and added that it should have been obvious veterinary treatment was required.

The court also heard from RSPCA inspector Gemma Cooper, who said the charity had offered to take over Max’s care, but Hicks declined. However, Cooper said Hicks agreed to allow the RSPCA to board the cat and pay for treatment.

While giving evidence, Hicks became emotional and accused Inspector Cooper of lying. She claimed Cooper had threatened to take Max away and have him put down.

Hicks told the jury she did believe in traditional veterinary treatment, but added that she felt “everything will happen in its own time.”

The trial continues.

 

Continue Reading

Crime

Local carpenter retains driving licence despite previous ban

Published

on

A Herbrandston carpenter has been allowed to keep his driving licence despite a previous driving disqualification for using his mobile phone whilst driving.

Addressing District Judge Mark Layton at Haverfordwest Magistrates Court this week, Simon Shaw stressed the disqualification was having a major impact on his work commitment as well as his ability to support members of his family.

“If the ban continues, at least two of my five employees will have to be lost” said Shaw, who works as a self-employed carpenter operating from Herbrandston and the Milford Haven Industrial Estate.

“We travel throughout the whole of West Wales and also work at Thorne Island, where we’ve been providing logistical support for renovations for the last four years.”

Shaw, of Triplestone Close, Herbrandston, went on to say that his business has only one other driver who works as a reserve fire fighter.

“As a result, he’s not available to provide the 24 hour cover we provide to various care homes in the county,” he said.

Simon Shaw concluded by stating that his daughter is also dependent on his support having recently given birth to twins while his son-in-law and his partner’s mother are both currently undergoing serious healthcare treatments.

“I’m trying to provide as much logistical support for them as I can, but without my driving licence, this is impossible,” he said.

After listening to his comments, Judge Layton granted Shaw permission to retain his licence.

 

Continue Reading

News14 hours ago

Catastrophe for Labour as Plaid and Reform reshape Welsh politics

ELUNED MORGAN LOSES SEAT AS OLD CERTAINTIES ARE SWEPT AWAY THE VOTERS of Wales have delivered one of the most...

News16 hours ago

Labour wiped out in Ceredigion Penfro as Plaid tops poll and First Minister loses seat

Shock result sends political shockwaves across Wales as Reform also surges in historic Senedd count LABOUR suffered one of the...

News21 hours ago

Labour deputy says party ‘will not form next Welsh Government’

LABOUR FACES HISTORIC DEFEAT AS COUNTING CONTINUES ACROSS WALES LABOUR’S Deputy Leader in Wales has effectively conceded the Senedd election,...

News22 hours ago

Counts underway in historic Senedd election

Wales waits for results as first election under new voting system reaches count stage COUNTING is underway across Wales today...

Charity2 days ago

Chief’s Tour honours fallen officers with 75-mile Pembrokeshire ride

Dyfed-Powys Police team raises thousands for bereaved police families charity A TEAM of officers and staff from Dyfed-Powys Police cycled...

Crime2 days ago

Racial abuse suspect barricaded himself inside Johnston lodge

ARMED police were called to a supported accommodation building in Johnston after a man allegedly barricaded himself inside a room...

Crime2 days ago

Milford Haven woman denies causing suffering to cat

Jury hears evidence over alleged failure to seek treatment for tumour A MILFORD HAVEN woman has denied causing unnecessary suffering...

News3 days ago

Plaid Cymru projected to lead Senedd as Labour faces historic collapse

Final poll suggests Welsh politics could be on the brink of a major realignment PLAID CYMRU is on course to...

Community3 days ago

Rescue bid planned for lambs stranded below Stack Rocks cliffs

Tree surgeon preparing 150ft descent after live firing delayed rescue attempt A MAJOR rescue operation is being planned this afternoon...

News3 days ago

Bishop’s report reveals major renewal challenge at St Davids Cathedral

Formal Visitation highlights financial, structural, leadership and spiritual pressures at one of Wales’ most important religious sites ST DAVIDS CATHEDRAL...

Popular This Week