SOME people, readers, who shall for the moment remain shameless, seem to think that newspapers and other media should not report news as it is but news as they would wish it to be. To them, every day is a good news day and every mishap, misstep or disaster is an ‘opportunity’. Well readers, over the last few years, readers, there have been plenty of chances for Badger’s chums at County Hall and Health Board HQ to avail themselves of some pretty catastrophic opportunities. Some believe that there should be more stories about diligent councillors doing their altruistic level best with nary a thought about preening their public image or grabbing an extra allowance or three. To those persons, readers, it’s all about ‘never mind the quality, feel the width’. Still, others believe that they and their organizations are misrepresented or represented unfairly by Badger and his ilk. They complain that negative news affects how the services they deliver are perceived and hamper their efforts at recruitment and improvement.

To those people, readers, there are no cuts there are only ‘efficiency savings’ and staffing problems cannot possibly be the result of crappy staff management and salami-slicing cuts. Apparently, readers, such is Badger’s power over the hearts and minds of the surface world that the merest flick of his claw sends shivers through bureaucrats and petty politicians with nothing better to do than take careful aim at the messenger, rather than act on their own faults and flaws. Nothing could be further from the truth, of course. Badger is a solitary creature tip-tapping away in his sett, pausing only to look up at the outside world and do some reading. However, those who complain the loudest have public servants on hand to prepare their carefully chosen words for them. Those without wordsmiths on tap are handsomely paid from the public purse, presumably on the basis they are able to string two words together and express themselves in a clear and clearly thought out way. Or so you would think. Words are slippery things, readers, and they do not always mean what you and Badger might believe. Badger wants, therefore, to show you, dear readers, the sort of sign posts that one should look for when questioning the pronouncements made by those in public authority. Here readers, Badger will provide three phrases to watch out for when you are trying to ascertain the amount of horse feathers being peddled on each occasion you might hear them.

1. ‘Everyone agrees that no change is not an option’ This phrase is especially beloved of those seeking to ram through a radical programme for which they have no democratic mandate on the basis that we’ve all gone to hell in a handcart and only they can operate the brake. It impliedly asks you to ignore the fact that they got us into this infernal truck in the first place. It is indicative of prejudgement of a substantive issue that precludes the chance of proper debate around alternatives. The meaning of the term ‘everyone’ in this case can vary from ‘the members of the ‘independent’ panel I appointed who have surprisingly agreed with my objectives’, through to ‘a policy think tank populated by people with ideas and no common sense’, ‘my cabinet colleagues and I’, and – as Badger suspects in Leighton Andrews’ and Mark Drakeford’s cases – ‘the voices in my head’.

2. ‘The level of service has fallen far short of the level of service we usually provide and is below expectations we set for ourselves’ Badger’s bugbear, if badgers have bugbears, readers, is the use of the above phrase in the context of the non-admission admission that the service provided has been appalling. Let’s look at the phrase critically for a moment or two. What is actually being said is that the person or body at fault is one which sets itself high standards and that – in this instance ONLY – those standards have not been met. It is asking you, the engaged reader, viewer or listener, to agree that – for example only – Abertawe Bro Morgannwg Health Board could not possibly have known about the level of elderly patient mistreatment and neglect at Princess of Wales Hospital, Bridgend, despite the fact that the course of alleged misconduct covered many years, was the subject of a number of complaints and involved a significant number of health workers, several of whom have now been charged with criminal offences. If they said what they mean in the way that they really feel about it, something like this would be more appropriate: “Our management systems are chaotic and we systematically ignored complaints and warning signs. Sorry.” (Jazz hands).

3. ‘Lessons must be learned; and they will be learned’ Now, readers, this is a phrase that can be deployed in almost any circumstance in which the speaker or writer needs to verbalise contrition while signalling that they want to brush a scandal under the carpet. It is most often deployed by those seeking to demonstrate that, no matter what previous failings there may have been, they are committed to sorting them out and hope that you will not notice that they are the group or individual responsible for the cock up in the first place. A special ‘sad’ voice is used to deliver this phrase, possibly to distract attention from some pretty lumpy carpets about the place. Jamie Adams used to love this one when he rattled on about the failings in our county’s education system that his administration had put right. Did you know, readers, that the administration that piloted Pembrokeshire’s education system into the mire is the same one that seeks your approval for digging it back out of the mire with the help of the Welsh Government? Did you know that Jamie Adams was Deputy Leader of the council for four years and a deputy Cabinet and Cabinet member for three or four years before that? Because if you didn’t, readers, Jamie isn’t about to tell you. Otherwise there is a risk that, unlike some of his Cabinet colleagues and IPPG stooges, you will be able to work out how many beans make five and where the buck must ultimately stop. No wonder it was once said ‘I have seen the future and it smirks’. Looking at Jamie Adams one can see the future is now. Badger is not demonstrating bias here, readers. Badger thinks that statements coming from authority should be forensically examined. After all, readers, policies mean pounds – and pounds mean you and me are going to pay policies’ prices. It is right to approach a statement with an open mind in the hope of judging whether, on balance, one agrees with a policy or not. It is our duty to read and listen critically and to question authority. Sometimes authority will be right, but we must always test it first and judge it. Badger is a sceptic, but that does not mean he is a pessimist. Badger always travels hopefully, readers, when reading a pronouncement, listening to a speech, following a debate. It is hardly Badger’s fault that it is usually better to travel hopefully than to arrive.